


Lonely Prince

by elixirsoflife



Category: Doctor Who (2005), Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Doctor Who Fusion, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Muggle, Community: HPFT, Descriptions of depression, First Meetings, James is the Doctor, Sirius Black & James Potter Friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-15
Updated: 2018-12-15
Packaged: 2019-09-19 17:31:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17006046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elixirsoflife/pseuds/elixirsoflife
Summary: “Come with me. You want to see the stars, don’t you? I could take you there."[Anything's possible if you let it be.]





	Lonely Prince

**Author's Note:**

> so this idea came to me the other week and i put it off bc i didn't think it would work out, but then i saw a tip on tumblr that said to write in comic sans so i tried it and it worked so here we are.
> 
> note: the portrayal of sirius may be a bit ooc (although tbh 90% of the marauders is fanon anyway) because in this universe, he has not yet met james or any of the other boys yet and so hasn't managed to break away from his family yet. that's had its effect and so you have my sirius here <3

**LONELY PRINCE**

 

Sirius was well aware that there were many people in the world who had it worse than him.

Significantly so.

There were children in Africa who could only dream of the education he grumbled his way through; children in London who lived a world away from his London town house, its plush carpets and luxury oak furniture, all kept pristine by a well-paid and proud staff; and children at his grammar school whose parents’ businesses failed to add up to his net worth, even when combined. In comparison to them, Sirius lived prosperously. Ostentatiously. Comfortably.

Well…That could be debated.

Even princes get lonely sometimes.

* * *

The thing about being a Black was that it was not enough to merely be Sirius Black - he had to be Sirius _Black_ , the eldest son of Walburga and Orion Black, heir to the family business. At the dawn of the twentieth century, the Blacks had invented a popular little sweet and over a hundred years later, they were still churning them out to the rest of Britain, the eldest son of each generation at the helm of the company. It was an honour, the family said, to be trusted with such responsibility. A mark of great prestige.

It was the single most mind-numbing future Sirius could picture for himself and he wanted none of it.

But the thing about being a Black, especially Sirius Black, was that his opinion meant little in the face of the family legacy. He had no hopes, no dreams. He was a wooden puppet to be chiselled into existence, edges smoothed, uniform painted on, his father’s hand controlling the strings that commanded him to move. He was a blank canvas, a gaping black hole where aspirations once dwelled.

The thing about being a Black was that it was synonymous with being perfect. Here, there was no room for self-doubt or mistakes. There was only money and politics – and where money and politics ruled, vulnerability didn’t.

Sirius had no business feeling this listless or withdrawn. There was no excuse for the inexplicable sadness that smothered him at times, or the way his bedroom door seemed so far away from his pillow. The weight on his chest simply needed to go. He had important things to learn, after all.

On days it was particularly bad, his mother liked to tear away his blanket from him – the navy one with faded silver constellations, his favourite by a long shot and all the more worn for it – and say something along the lines of _you’re being far too ridiculous_ _now_ or _this is unacceptable behaviour, Sirius Orion._

 _Get over it,_ his father preferred. _You’re nearly a man now. You have no time for this idiocy._

Get over it.

G-e-t-o-v-e-r-i-t.

Maybe if Sirius said it enough times, it would make sense. 

* * *

If he could choose what to pursue, it would probably be Astronomy. Maybe Astrophysics. There was so much that existed out there beyond Earth’s atmosphere, so much to explore. He ached to cover just a small percentage of it.

For some people, the knowledge that humans were not the centre of the universe was too much to handle, too daunting to consider. For Sirius, however, it was comforting.

He was but a speck in a vast, vast universe full of infinite things, beautiful things. But he was here, nonetheless. He’d come together through a matter of circumstance, simply because the world had lined up in exactly the right way. He was here, and he breathed and felt emotions, and he was able to look up at the night sky and bear witness to stars that had died a long time ago. No matter how hard it got sometimes, no matter how great the distance to his window felt, he was _here_. He existed. He deserved to do so.

When one thought about it that way, he was so much more than a Black (because the world was so much more than the Blacks and the world was so much more than him).

* * *

“You didn’t happen to see a metal dog, did you?”

The question was thrown at him from a boy who looked to be about his age, a boy who had flung himself at Sirius without warning, sticky hands on his shoulders and eyes manic as they bore into him. His hair, already wild, seemed to stand further on end as he anxiously awaited the answer.

Sirius spluttered for several seconds before blurting rather stupidly, “A what.”

 “A dog,” the boy replied, “made of metal. That is, a metal dog. Answers to Snuffles. Or Padfoot sometimes, depends on how he’s feeling. Sarky little thing if you ask me, but he’s a loyal friend. Well, I suppose all dogs are, but this one’s really been there for me during some hard times, so I’m a bit partial to it. Not that I don’t love other dogs, of course, I love dogs! But. Snuffles, you know. He’s just… Snuffles.”

Sirius didn’t, in fact, know. In fact, he was struggling to understand half of what had been thrown at him in the past ten seconds.

“Uh… No?” he finally managed. “I haven’t seen a metal dog?”

The boy leaned back and scanned him from head to toe. His hands were still pressing some suspicious liquid onto Sirius’ coat. It might’ve been petrol. It smelled kind of like petrol.

“You don’t seem very sure,” he said.

“I am.”

He hummed. “So, you are. Mind helping me look for him then?”

The logical answer was no. It was to calmly but decisively remove the stranger’s hands from his shoulders and take a firm step back before informing him that he had places to go and people to see… But the only place that waited for him outside of the park was Grimmauld Place and that meant having his mother scold him for wasting hours outside of the house when he could’ve been shadowing his father at work. It meant mustering up the energy to eat his greens and lying in his bed as he felt awfully small and crying because it felt like the only thing he could do.

The logical answer led to more of this gaping loneliness he didn’t know how to get away from.

Sirius was tired of being lonely. So, he offered the strange boy a smile and said truthfully, “I don’t mind.” He wasn’t feeling particularly exhausted today, after all.

When he received a beam in response, toothy and wide, it felt like the right choice.

* * *

The boy introduced himself as James. Or rather, he called himself The Doctor and then conceded that it was a bit of a mouthful to constantly say and teetered on the edge of pretentious, so he was open to the name James too (“Makes me feel rather royal, I have to say!”) and Sirius could choose either or.

“I’m Sirius,” he said, shoving his hands deep into the pockets of his coat.

He walked half a step behind the other as they circled the park, sometimes calling out for Snuffles but mostly just watching James. It wasn’t like he meant to, it was just that the boy was so… incongruous to this corner of Chelsea that it was impossible not to stare. If his accent hadn’t tipped Sirius off – it couldn’t quite be placed and tended to fluctuate as if it couldn’t make up its mind on where it came from – just the very look of him screamed he wasn’t from around here. Few people in this neighbourhood would wear an ill-fitted tweed jacket over a half-tucked in shirt and skinny jeans that didn’t seem to be torn on purpose, after all. A pair of ratty Converses topped the ensemble off.

“Like my outfit, do you?” James said with a grin, obviously noticing the stare. When Sirius flushed and murmured an apology, he slung an arm around his shoulder to pull him close. “Don’t worry, I’m the epitome of style in _my_ book and that’s all that matters.”

“I guess that’s true,” he agreed, though he was sure his mother would beg to differ. “I’m just not used to it.”

“Good! That’s great! I’d hate to dress in a style that people were used to!” James, he had come to find, was very fond of exclaiming everything he said. “That’d be far too boring. Like – like working-in-an-office boring. Or having-tea-with-a-Fyneop boring, all they do is talk politics. Or eating-toast-with-butter boring when there’s so much more you could do with it.”

He was off his rocker. There was no other explanation for it. That, or Sirius was asleep, and this was all an elaborate dream he’d cooked up. He pinched his thigh through his coat and felt his skin protest in pain.

Okay, so he wasn’t asleep. James really was just like this.

Strangely enough, Sirius didn’t mind.

“So,” he said. “Did you build Snuffles yourself or…?”

James shook his head vehemently. “Oh no, I could never make something as beautiful as him. I picked him up on my travels. He’d been abandoned for a more updated model and I couldn’t just leave him there by himself just because his owner had gotten bored of him. It would’ve been – awfully lonely, I imagine.”

Lonely.

Sirius tried to imagine being in Snuffles’ place: loved one day and discarded the next, all because he wasn’t good enough. Then, he thought of his parents promising to disown him if he didn’t get his act together and follow in his father’s footsteps, his very own Sword of Damocles hovering over his head. Being cast out and cut off simply because he wasn’t the perfect firstborn son.

“Yeah,” he muttered, feeling a strange lump materialise in his throat. “I can imagine.”

From the corner of his eyes, he saw James send him a soft smile. It was a lot more subdued than anything he had offered to date, and it made Sirius feel all the more vulnerable for it. Like he had been stripped bare by those handful of words and James could peer inside him, see the emptiness that threatened to engulf him and recognise it for what it was.

If that was the case, he didn’t acknowledge it in any words. Instead, he opted for, “You’ve got a nice name, by the way. Sirius. Like the star, right?”

Relief dulled the edges of his sorrow. “Yeah,” he said as they turned the corner from the play area. Here, the path was edged with tall trees, already fading from an intense green into yellow. “It’s sort of a family tradition to name us after stars and constellations. My brother’s called Regulus.”

“The little king.”

“I’ve always liked the stars,” he continued. “It’s kind of a hobby of mine, I guess? You can’t really see much from London, but I have a telescope at home and like to stargaze whenever the skies are clear. Map constellations, try to spot a planet. All of that jazz.”

Inexplicably, James perked up at that. “Yeah?” he grinned like he knew something Sirius didn’t.

“It’s a bit nerdy,” he said, cheeks flushing with belated embarrassment. “I know everyone else is out drinking or playing FIFA or whatever, but – “

“So what?” he cut across with a shrug. “Nerdy is cool. It’s what builds civilisations. Only those with no sense look down on nerds.”

He said this all in a way that suggested that he too classed himself as a bit of a nerd – and honestly, looking at his tweed jacket made Sirius inclined to agree – and the camaraderie made Sirius grin. It had been so long since he’d felt like this with someone – not quite comfortable per se, but like he could be himself without restraint and never be judged for it, be it awestruck or imperfect or sad. Even though it had only been less than half an hour and he knew his parents would disapprove, he found himself opening his mouth to ask for the other boy’s number.

Before he could get a word out, however, James bellowed a thunderous, “ _SNUFFLES!”_ and threw himself forward into a bramble.

Too shocked to react, Sirius watched open-mouthed as he appeared to wrestle with something before finally managing to untangle himself from the shrubs and stumble back, arse landing flat on the floor with a loud thud. He hugged a hunk of metal to his chest, face red from exertion but washed with relief.

“You’re safe!” he cried, smothering the thing with kisses. “Oh, you beautiful, beautiful boy. Had a little adventure, did you?”

The metal slab flashed red and then a robotic voice croaked out, “The Doctor took longer than estimated to find Snuffles. You exceeded your average by twelve minutes and forty-one seconds. Perhaps the Doctor is getting slow in his old age?”

“Oi, you cheeky bugger. I’ll have you know that the only reason I took so long is because I made a friend actually.”

He released Snuffles, leaning back on his hands to shoot a smile at the still slack-jawed Sirius. Now that he could see the dog proper, he could make out more of its features: its rudimentary base which was nothing more than a sturdy-looking trapezium of steel and its antenna tail. Its head looked like a basic mould of a dog’s face that someone had forgotten to paint features onto. A collar made of soft, striped fabric rested around its neck. As Snuffles turned towards Sirius, eyes flashing red and head twisted to the side, he felt oddly endeared.

“Um. Hi?” he said uncertainly.

More lights flashed. “Good afternoon, Doctor’s friend – “

“Sirius,” James supplied.

“Good afternoon, Sirius! It is a pleasure to meet you. The Doctor hasn’t made a friend in a while, I was beginning to wonder if he had forgotten how.”

“ _Oi!_ ” Despite the sharp tone, James pulled Snuffles back towards him with another one of his soft smiles. It faded slightly as he looked back at Sirius, saying, “Well, I suppose I should be heading back now. Since we’ve found Snuffles and all.”

Cold flooded him. The contentment from earlier dissolved in the face of their parting and Sirius bit his lip. “I suppose so,” he said reluctantly. After a moment’s hesitation, he fumbled to get his phone out of his pocket. “You could give me your number if you’d like? I’d love to meet up again – “ He cut off at the look on James’ face and added weakly, “Or not. Not if you don’t want to.”

“No, no, I want to!” The other rushed to assure him. “I just… I don’t have a phone. I’m a traveller, you see, so I… don’t really keep in touch like that. It’s more of a ‘pop in whenever I can’ system.”

“Oh.”

James echoed the sentiment. “Yeah. Oh.”

The two fell silent, staring at the gravel on the path. As the minutes drew on, the feeling of dissatisfaction rose, both reluctant to leave things as they were but at a loss at how to proceed from here. And then James looked up hopefully.

“You could come with me,” he suggested. When Sirius only stared, he added, “I just – there’s so much to see out there and you… you seem like the sort of person who wants to explore it. And I could show you all of it if you came with me. All the stars and everything beyond them. You could be happy.”

Suddenly defensive, Sirius snapped, “How would _you_ know if I’m unhappy? We’ve known each other for less than an hour.”

Far from being put off, James merely looked at him. “Loneliness recognises its own,” he said at last with a sad smile.

At that, Sirius’ barbs died in his throat.

_Loneliness recognises its own._

Perhaps that explained why he felt so at ease with James – this wild, strange boy who dressed like he had chosen his clothes half-asleep and talked like the world didn’t judge those who didn’t fit in, though everyone knew it did. This boy who smiled like he knew more than Sirius could possibly imagine and truly could deliver everything he promised.

“Come with me,” he said again. “You want to see the stars, don’t you? I could take you there. Forget looking through a telescope, we could go to Sirius today. We could go to different planets and galaxies and meet people from every species in the known universe. We could go back in time or travel three hundred years into the future or – “

“That’s not even possible,” Sirius cut in before he could get swept away by such fantasies. That’s all they were: fantasies. Make-believe. A pretty little tale. “None of that’s possible.”

“Anything’s possible if you let it be.”

Rising to his feet, James idly dusted off the dirt from his backside. He straightened out his tweed jacket and adjusted the waistband of his jeans. Then he held out a hand, knuckles the same shade of light pink as his knees, and looked at Sirius with a steady gaze.

“I never did say where exactly I travelled to,” he pointed out.

Sirius stared at his hand, conflicted. This was – this was inconceivable, this was _mad_. This was everything his teachers warned him against in school and exactly the opposite of what his family wanted. He couldn’t just abandon everything he knew here like it was nothing. He had duties, he had responsibilities. He was a Black, goddamn it –

No. He wasn’t.

He was so much more than that.

So much more than the ever-ravenous black pit that had settled deep in his chest, goaded on by the weight of his parents’ expectations and his own shortcomings. Than the business and accounts of a company he didn’t care for, than the fractured relationship with his own brother, than the constant loneliness that haunted him. He was so much more than Grimmauld Place and Chelsea. He was a traveller who yearned for more.

Put that way, the distance to James felt like nothing.

Sirius took his hand and held on.

**Author's Note:**

> (bonus ↴  
> sirius: this... is a police box.  
> james: i know, isn't she sexy? name's the TARDIS and she'll be our home for as long as you'd like. go on, get in - before snuffles decides to make another break for it.)
> 
> anyways i'm thinking of making this part of a series? possibly? because my original idea had a Lot more in it aka james and sirius go on space adventures together because they're now best friends for life and along the way they pick up remus and peter and they're together forever. but i just wanted to lay down the groundwork so i kept it to just the meeting - didn't even manage to get the TARDIS in it :((


End file.
